The Brain on Hard Conversations
Here is an excellent video that explains how the brain and nervous system get involved, and in the way, during interpersonal situations. Our brain’s perception of our safety is not always logical and reasonable. Everyday situations can wake up the survival parts of our brain as if a major traumatic event is present. Most notably the amygdala acts like a smoke alarm, startling the whole system into reacting to a threat. The whole body becomes activated to fight off the danger or flee the situation as fast as possible, which also overwhelms hippocampus to a point that it cannot function. This is problematic because it is the hippocampus’s job to organize, store, and retrieve memories in a rational way.
As for the part about coming out of the closet, skin pickers and hair pullers often struggle with their own closets. Hiding the wounds and bald spots, feeling as if they are the only one, blaming themselves. Coming out of that closet has the potential to empower you in so many ways and break through the shame and stigma that tries to hold the closet door shut.